"Yes, this is Animal. I'm a veteran Browns fan, and I'd like to schedule an appointment for a pacemaker please. Can you pencil me in? Thanks!"
Alright everybody. Do it right along with me: Inhale slowly through your nose, and exhale out through your mouth. PHEW!
Why can't these guys make anything easy? Why do they always have to either break our hearts when they lose, or just about kill us when they pull through? I don't understand it. This game never should've even been this close.
But remember: At the end of the day, the NFL is not like college football. There are no style points. You could win by 40, and your quarterback could throw for four touchdowns. Or you could win like the Browns did today.
But the bottom line? A win is a win! Cleveland gets into the win column for the first time in 2024!
How'd they do it? Let's take a look!
Solid Defense (mostly)
This is weird. Do you guys remember last season? In 2023, the defense couldn't buy a win on the road. It was like Jekyll and Hyde with these guys last year. On the road, they were like a bunch of sick puppy dogs. But at home, they played like a bunch of bloodthirsty werewolves!
So it was good to see them finally flip the script, and get a badly needed win away from the shores of Lake Erie.
The Dawgs sacked Trevor Lawrence four times, hit him seven times, and racked up nine tackles for loss. And it just seemed like they were playing with an attitude that wasn't there last week against Dallas. They were physical and relentless for most of the game.
And then the late-game swoon arrived.
Watching Greg Newsome get burnt for a 66-yard pass play wasn't just frustrating. It also set up Jacksonville's lone touchdown of the day.
And it was the manner in which Newsome got burnt that really irked me. Newsome never even looked back to see where the ball was before the pass was completed. That's DB 101. At some point, a corner or safety needs to turn their head to be able to make a play on the football. If they don't? You have exactly what happened on that play.
From that point on, it looked like Jacksonville was slowly but surely stealing momentum from the Browns. Cue every horror movie you've ever seen, and roll 'em all into one. By the time the Jags made it a 16-13 game, I had already resigned myself to watching the Browns snatch defeat from the jaws of victory yet again. It's what they do. It's their M.O.
But then Myles Garrett and Co. FINALLY came through when they absolutely had to with a massive game-saving safety! And the main reason they were able to get it done, was because of the next Key to Victory.
Corey Bojorquez: The Golden Leg
Anyone who's a real Browns fan knows who Lou Groza is, and they all know his famous nickname. Around Browns country, Lou is simply known as The Toe.
But after today, I might start calling Corey Bojorquez The Golden Leg.
I know Corey has a long way to go before he even remotely touches Lou's place as a legendary special teamer. But today, Lou might've helped Corey find a little bit of Brownie magic when he needed it the most.
Corey's always been a solid punter for us. But every now and then he completely gets hold of one, booms it with the force of an artillery shell, and coffin corners it. He did that today when he absolutely had to.
After Jacksonville cut the Browns' lead to three points late in the game, Corey boomed a punt for 64 yards that bounced out of bounds at the one-yard line.
And for a defense as aggressive as Cleveland's, setting them up with that kind of opportunity is like waving a fresh steak in front of a pack of hungry Rottweilers!
But Corey did his job and certainly earned his paycheck today!
Du$tin Hopkin$ i$ Money!
How cool is it to have an actual kicker? I remember being so nervous years ago whenever Cody Parkey or Cade York would line up to kick. We never knew what was going to happen for either of those guys when their toe met leather.
They could drill kicks with room to spare...or knuckleball it off the upright in typical Browns fashion. But they were never reliable.
It's extremely refreshing to finally have a guy who makes kicking anticlimactic. Dustin Hopkins kind of makes it boring, just because you know he's going to drill it most of the time. I'm so happy he's that good at his job, that we don't have to worry about that part of the game when he's out there.
Hopkins was a perfect 3-3 on field goals, including nailing a 53-yarder with room to spare. 10 of the Browns' 18 points came off his right foot.
But some big things also happened in another area of the game as well. The Browns' rushing attack showed up a little bit for the first time this season!
Running By Committee
Let's face it, no one will ever replace or be Nick Chubb. The guy is just built different. He's so special. He's one of a kind. But he'll be out for at least two more games after today while he works his way back from last year's catastrophic injury.
But while he heals up, it's up to the other running backs to step up and give the Browns some semblance of a ground game.
When the Browns are playing their absolute best, they're physical, run with a bad attitude, fight for extra yards, and flatten anyone stupid enough to get in their way. It's their identity. It's who they are. They're an AFC North football team. I saw glimpses of that today.
Led by Jerome Ford's quick and powerful moves, and D'Onta Foreman's punishing running style, the Browns pounded the rock 29 times for 125 yards and a touchdown on the ground.
Running the football like the Browns did today does several things:
It gets the offense into a steady rhythm. If the running game isn't working, the offense won't be able to pull more advanced plays out of the bag of tricks later on.
It forces opposing defenses to creep up closer to defend the run, which leaves them more susceptible to giving up big pass plays.
It takes the pressure off the quarterback and acts as a security blanket. If the running game is rolling, opposing defenses will be so worried about it, that it'll give Deshaun Watson more time to do his thing, and make plays.
It just wears people out. This part puts a smile on my face. Chalk it up to being from Carey. When the Blue Devils are at their best, they run the ball the same way.
I love teams that can steadily run the football for three or four yards a pop. Early in a game, three or four yards per run may not seem like much. But by the time the fourth quarter rolls around, every defender is tired of getting physically pounded on. And most of the time, that exhaustion will play a big factor. They'll crack. The opponent will give way, and you can ride your running game to victory!
Even though this next key takeaway certainly wasn't a Key to Victory, it could very well decide whether the Browns win or lose games later in the season...
Penalties, Penalties and More Penalties!
I really try to stay calm. I do. I know it's impossible to do it as a Browns fan on Sundays, but I genuinely try.
But if there's one thing that can make me instantly blow my top, and say stuff that would make Bob Knight blush, it's penalties. Of any kind. Don't get me started.
I know these guys are human. They make mistakes like the rest of us. But the number of penalties, especially holding calls, had me blowing a gasket!
The Browns finished the day with 13 penalties for an eye-popping 100 yards.
But even though the penalty yardage bothers me, it's not what bugs me the most. It was the timing that drove me nuts!
The Browns had several great plays called back due to holding. They had a turnover wiped off the stat sheet thanks to an illegal procedure kicking penalty too!
The Browns managed to pull out a W in spite of all the miscues. But they won't win many more games this season if they continue to be that undisciplined. They already have the toughest schedule in the league. They don't need to make it any harder by shooting themselves in the foot!
But thankfully they'll have another chance to clean things up sooner rather than later. They'll be at home in Cleveland for Week 3, as they face the Giants next Sunday. Hopefully they look a lot sharper, the defense stays hungry, and Deshaun Watson shows up to play. If those things happen, they can start stacking wins.
But until then, celebrate this one, Dawg Pound! The Browns are in the win column for the first time this season!
GO BROWNS!
Statistical Leaders
Deshaun Watson: 22-34, 186 yards
Jerome Ford: 7 carries, 64 yards
Jerry Jeudy: 5 catches, 73 yards
Source: ESPN
Picture Credit: Bleacher Report
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